Here I sit in front of my computer at work, taking a few moments to myself to surf the 'vine and at my side, my trusty second snack choice…Rold Gold® Pretzels! That is not to say that 'pretzels' are not my first snack choice, much to the contrary, I have always loved the crispy and salty crunch of a well made pretzel. But alas, this is where my story begins to take on an emotional dwarfism, I miss Mr. Salty, damn it! They used to have far more salt on them then the average bagged pretzel AND they had that cool caricature on the front of the bag! Mr. Salty in all his sudo-naval attire!
With much perseverance and time spent searching for the truth, I feel I have uncovered the snack equivalent of Watergate! It seems there was a meeting of the top execs at Mr. Salty headquarters that was kept under wraps until I found out about it and brought it to light this very day! Apparently the CSO (Chief Snack Officer) at Mr. Salty Inc. was taking a lot of heat from his local church group in regards to the sexual innuendos that had arisen concerning the Mr. Salty name itself and the cartoon sailor on each bag. People within the church felt that the fact the character being portrayed as a Seaman was FAR TOO coincidental and close to the word 'semen'. That along with the name, Mr. Salty, was becoming an issue within the church community. Seems the joking and (in their words) 'child-like frivolity' surrounding this similarity was causing children at Sunday services, church dances, and even the weekly bingo event to burst into laughter at the mere mention of the product!
With all this controversy, the execs along with the blessings of the board of directors made the decision to discontinue not only the product line, but they would recall all products currently on sale world-wide that displayed the Mr. Salty Seaman.
What a travesty!